During the winter of 2020, when we were all in the depths of ‘COVID survival mode’, I attended online photography/writing classes through Santa Fe Photography Workshops. One class was writing postcards with images to capture what you were experiencing at the moment and mailing them to someone you wanted to reach out to. The other class used a Zine format to explore a particular topic. We were encouraged to go deep into what we were experiencing during such a difficult time. You never know what will ‘arrive’ when starting on projects like these. Putting words with images was something new for me. These early exercises were just that; a beginning warm-up for future explorations.
Breathe in, Breathe out
My perspective, my world seems to expand and contract.
minute by minute with each new breath.
Breath in: I see pebbles and grains of sand before me.
Breathe out: The shoreline extends in both directions along the horizon.
Breathe in: I ache with loneliness.
Breathe out: I am joyful in the beauty surrounding me.
Breathe in: I miss you so…
Breathe out: My arms reach across the waters, waiting for your embrace
Stones piled,
Imbued with knowing hues
Balancing,
Appearing precarious
But courageous towards the wind.
Toppling could happen,
Destroying my direction.
(I would feel so lost without you)
Trust in their steadfastness
(Afterall, they’ve been there all summer!)
In English we say:
“I play the piano”
While in Spanish it goes:
“Yo toco el piano”…I touch the piano.
I love Spanish for its sensuosity, its nuance, its understanding of the underlying emotion behind each word.
Do I play the piano because it touches me??
Absolutely!!
My daily momentum to play the piano
lies in it’s anticipatory touch to my soul.
Do you feel it too?
Let me play for you so we can touch souls together.
…from my door to yours
Mothers are hard to like, sometimes.
We don’t get to choose them, nor they us.
They do the best they can with what they have been given.
Some adapt better than others.
What does a mother do with a child who is nothing like themselves?
Or maybe they are too much the same.
And how does that child relate to her?
Maybe most children wonder about their mothers.
What does a status-conscious mother do with a child who wants to rearrange furniture in her bedroom every week and take long walks alone in the woods?
She did her best.
I forgive her.
I have some homemade applesauce sitting here in the freezer, waiting for you when you come to visit
When will the next visit be?
COVID cases keep rising
Leaves are falling and soon
Winter will be closing in
Oh, how I long for your face, your voice, your laugh
I have to content myself with plans for future visits, even as dates from previous plans have come and gone.
9 months and still no visits.
Maybe next Spring?